Uncertainty and Torrential Rain

Posted on July 2, 2020Comments Off on Uncertainty and Torrential Rain

Thursday 2nd July Day 100

7.15 I have been awake for a while trying to structure the day ahead. I got a late text from Sarah last night asking if I would like to meet her at our local plant nursery. I haven’t been visiting any shops apart from the pet supplier up the road which I’ve been doing for ages. Anyway, I have decided that I would like to go, suitably attired. There isn’t enough colour in my garden and I think a few more pots on the patio (niche word): paved area, would cheer it up a lot.

Today ‘celebrates’ the one hundredth day of writing this diary, I feel it should have some significance but the only significance I can think of is that we are way over that initial three months and still not really any end in sight. The Government make a tweak here and a tweak there and quite frankly I have reached the point when I’m not sure what I am and am not allowed to do, especially as sometimes a ruling is then retracted. For me I suppose I am a little more relaxed about some things, I am happy to go into someone’s garden, I will even eat and drink a bit with friends and family. I still have my food delivered and although I go further afield now for walks etc, I wouldn’t dream of going anywhere crowded and I don’t go to the shops. But on the whole things haven’t really changed on a daily basis, that wariness is always with me.

What I have become very aware of, is that we all seem to be at different stages in our minds and oddly it is a lot of the young, especially those with young children who seem to be far more wary than perhaps people of my generation. I know I am being very sensible but at my age, I’m not prepared to put my life completely on hold as long as I’m not affecting anyone else’s lives. I think the younger generation, understandably, are not just worrying for themselves and their children but of course for their older generation family who are at much greater risk of infection.

The result of all this uncertainty is that a bit of pressure is creeping in. We are starting to feel a bit embarrassed or making too much fuss when others try to push us into doing a little more, often we feel too uncomfortable or concerned to do what they suggest but don’t like to say no. I know, I’ve been pushed into a few situations where I should have just said, ‘No sorry I’m not ready to do that yet.’

12.00 Sarah, Audrey and I are due to meet Janet up in the fields for a walk. The weather is looking a bit ‘iffy’ but we think we will be ok and we are, until nearly back to my house when the heavens open and we get soaked. We decide to go and get the lettuce I promised Sarah from down my garden and as we go the rain starts coming down like a waterfall, so we shelter in the greenhouse until it dies down just enough to get back to the house and I give Sarah a lift home. Afterwards I have to change my clothes completely.

15.30 I go up to my bedroom to find something warmer to put on and when I open the wardrobe doors, one very disgruntled cat comes out blinking in the light. I can see by the body language that she is not at all pleased with me but to be fair I didn’t know she was in there.

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